I'm still stoked about our comedy class grad show, which was Thursday at the Orlando Improv. As you may remember, I started taking lessons in October. It was not easy. It’s a new way of writing. I tell stories. Standup is premise-punch-premise punch. I’ve never been in a fight! What do I know about punching? I also had to learn how to be concise without using words like concise. Humor can be smart, but for standup, you need to keep the words at fifth grade so the brain can move at the speed of laughs.

In all, I learned a lot…including things I’d just as soon forget. I have a broader vocabulary that I can never use in public as well. Comics are a mixed bag of nuts.

The graduation show was amazing, though. I was third in the lineup after two very talented young men that always got us laughing. I'd been sweating my routine for two weeks! My goal was three minutes - three laughs. I pretty much had people giggling most of the time. I absolutely loved it. When I get the recording, I'll be sure to share.

I know now that I never want to do this as a career. Standup was a bucket list thing for me, and I’m glad for the experience. I think it will help me with my writing, and I may use it to pursue public speaking.

Book Highlight: Siren Spell

Siren Spell is out for Valentine’s Day, and it’s as close to a romance as I’ve gotten with DragonEye. (I do have something in mind for Captain Santry….If I can find time to fit it in.) This story turns Vern human - or rather curses him into human form. Obviously, the perpetrator meant it as a punishment, but Vern’s loosened up over the years, so after he’s done panicking, he decides to have fun with it, trusting Sister Grace will figure out a way to break the spell.

I had SO MUCH FUN making him human. (Yes, I’m yelling there. Also, imagine me doing a happy dance. It was that fun.) I got input from a bunch of my friends about the foibles of humanity as would apply to a being with four legs, wings, and a tail. So many pet peeves and annoyances in the human form. And so many wonderful sensations for Vern to experience, too. There were some that will get him in big trouble, too.

There are a ton of laughs, but the end of the book made me cry! Vern is such a drama drake. I think this is my all-time favorite book. I hope you’ll love it, too.

Siren Spell Summary

What could challenge a dragon more than being human?

When a curse turns Vern human, he does not have time to deal with it; Sister Grace’s cousin has gone missing in the Mundane. Besides, how hard could humaning be? He might even enjoy it for a while.

But from stubbed toes to fever dreams of emus, he discovers that humaning is not as easy as it seems. When women throw themselves at him, the unfamiliar hormones catch him off guard – especially because his heart, dragon and human, belongs to the nun who is his best friend.

Can he master his new emotions and solve the mystery before Grace becomes the kidnapper’s next victim?

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Siren Spell Sneak Peak

This is an excerpt from the beginning, where Vern has just had a nightmare about being turned into a sausage and wakes up to discover he’s been turned human.

I woke up to Sister Grace’s scream.

I got up fast—or at least I thought I did. Everything felt off, my balance, the room. Even Grace. Colors seemed oddly flat yet too vibrant. I blinked and shook my head.

One thing that was not flat was Grace’s expression, a combination of fear and fury. She held her hands out, one as if to cast a spell and one as if to block the sight of me. She angled her head away from me as if keeping me in her sights while trying to not look at me. Was I glowing? Was that why everything looked so wrong to my eyes?

“Who are you and what have you done with Vern?” she demanded.

“What? I’m–” My voice sounded weird. Sounded…

I looked down, saw pale, fleshy, human skin.

I screamed. “What happened to me?”

“Tell me what you did to Vern!”

“My scales! What happened to my scales?” I dug my nails into my palms. They were so thin and wimpy. “AAAARGH! My beautiful claws! Where are they?”

“What are you talking about? Who are you?” Grace demanded. “How did you get in here? Where are your clothes?”

I only understood about half of what she said. Panic gripped me. I’d lost my wings! “My tail!” I twisted around.

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Interview with Vern and Sister Grace:

Are things awkward now that you’ve experienced Vern as a human?

Sister Grace: Now that he’s a dragon again, no. But I cannae make any guarantees if he takes on human form again.

Vern, would you want to be human again?

Vern: Maybe? There’d have to be a compelling reason, and there would have to be alterations to the spell. I liked wearing clothes, and textures were fun. Not just material, but food textures, the feeling of the shower on skin. Since I’m mostly scales and fireproofing, I do not feel things with the same intensity as humans….which, come to think of it, was both good and bad. Mostly good, if we could alter the spell.

It was certainly easier to get along with humans when I was one.

Sister Grace: At least the women.

Do you think he’d still be so flirty? That wasn’t part of the curse?

Sister Grace: I’m nae sure, but if I have any say, we’ll tone that down a bit.

Vern: Agreed! But I am naturally gorgeous, protective, and observant; plus, I have a dragon’s load of confidence. Besides, I already get emails from women wanting to have my half-dragon babies. (I keep telling you people it’s not possible, but no one listens.) So I want it on the record now that if women flock to me, it’s not my fault and… Why are you looking at me like that?

Grace, I think you prefer Vern as a dragon?

Sister Grace: Aye, he’s much easier to deal with.

Vern: Hey!

Speaking of being easier to get along with, did your time interacting with Kitty McGrue while human give you a greater appreciation for her, as a journalist or a person?

(Sister Grace ducks her head and plays with her cross. It’s not clear if she’s angry or trying not to laugh or both. Vern, however, is clearly steamed.)

What’d I miss?

Vern: Maybe I could have said something nice. Yesterday. She did help me save Grace, and I even shared the information we got. Thanks to me, she’s won several journalism awards and is in the running for a Pulitzer. Yet the ingrate decided she needed a final jab.

Sister Grace: She wrote an article about her “experiences” with Vern.

Vern: Article! “I Dated a Faerie Dragon!” All the Fae is calling it an exposé, but it’s so full of exaggeration, it may as well be fiction. We weren’t dating, and I did not pursue her. Just like her journalistic work, she took all the facts then twisted them to fit her own story, and never mind how the backlash inconveniences me.

Backlash?

Vern pulls up the computer to his email. There are hundreds of emails, some asking to have his babies; others asking for pictures, others…

There were also interview requests from magazines of varying levels of cleanness.

Oh, dear. Okay! So let’s go back to being human for a bit. Do you miss the opposable thumbs?

Vern: Not as much as I missed having my tail. My tail is more useful. I’ve lived my entire life without thumbs, so I don’t miss them as much as a human might if they suddenly lost them.

What would you do if you turned human again? Either differently or as a new activity?

Vern: I’d try more foods. Thinking back, it seemed like I mostly ate eggs, chicken, bread. I did enjoy pizza. I want to try chili. I liked soda, but it made me belch. I also want to drive a car or a motorcycle! Then I could feel the wind in my hair. I loved having hair.

Sister Grace: Ach! If you become human again, it’s not to take driving lessons.

Vern (turning to Grace): I want to see your eyes again with human eyes. They are so green.

Sister Grace (trying not to blush): That’s very sweet. But I’d still prefer you be able to see magic.

Vern: Me, too.

It sounds like you might be thinking of a way to turn Vern human again.

Sister Grace: I have been studying the curse. Magic is a combination of mechanics and intent. If I can understand the mechanics, I can make changes to the intent of the spell. Vern could be human, at will, and without all the complications that got him into trouble before.

(SPOILER: Sister Grace will perfect the spell, and we’ll see HuVern again in Live and Let Fly.)

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