Last week I wrote about taming the ego and how reading my teacher Adnan's writing in the workshop made me more acutely aware of my ego. It taught me how to detach from it by focusing on the flow and rhythm of his words.

Yesterday, I received an email from Isabelle responding to mine. One of Adnan’s students, probably longer than me, Isabelle was his translator at his workshops in Spain and at camp. Her words were so clearly articulated that I felt like I was getting Spanish lessons every time I heard them together. The combination of the English coupled with the Spanish translation was mesmerizing. And now I understand why.

In her email, she writes about the experience of translating his words and how it deepened her understanding of his work. I asked if I could share her words with you as they may help you understand the difference between the form and the essence of Adnan's spiritual work. She said yes so here is what she wrote:

We have a figure similar to Nashrudin (the Arabic wise-fool) in France called Toutoutcheli who every day used to cross the border between France and Italy. Every day the customs officer would stop him to check what he was bringing into the country but it was always the same what he carried on his bicycle: a bag of peas or beans. The Police checked the contents regularly to see if he was not hiding some kind of substance but no, it was just beans or peas.

One day, many years after, Toutoutcheli met the customs officer in town. He was retired as was Toutoutcheli. The customs officer asked him: “ Toutoutcheli, now that time has passed, could you tell me what you were transporting on your bike every single day?” Toutoutcheli answered: “ Oh, it was the bikes I was smuggling into the country every day!”.

Interpreting for Adnan is somehow similar.

People think that the message is the words and it is only partially true. It is the breathing he is conveying. In fact, he only speaks when he knows we have reached the required breathing needed to feed on his words, to get nutrition from them.

He breathes out to utter a sentence, meanwhile, I breathe in so that when it is my turn, I can say the words. Whenever this is not happening I make either a mistake or I don’t find the translation of the word. The word is just the sound, the music of the breath. It is the peas or the beans. However, the breath is the bicycle.

The breath is what gets into us, into our land, into our hearts. It is what makes us be in the present, in the intelligence of the heart, and not in the intellect. The words are intellectual and through the breath, they become intelligent for our soul, they start to form the intelligence of the heart. I came to understand that words without the appropriate support of a balanced breath wouldn’t reach the heart. They would stay in the periphery, somehow outside our being.

Adnan was not concerned about the perfect translation. He was more concerned about the rhythm of inhaling and exhaling, in the same way as the movements don’t have to be aesthetic although they end up being so. They are the shape of the breath. They give a form to the breath.

Words have a length, the length of the exhaling while one pronounces them. Sentences have sounds, pauses, and silences. Adnan managed to create this on Radio talks and television shows. The journalist ends up in a state of peace also, in the moment, breathing in and out and forgetting his questions.

During the workshops, I prepare myself for non-existence. We tend to exist through our power of speech.

The first time I translated for Adnan I had a real crisis at the end of the workshop because I had not spoken a word of my own for so long that I felt I had disappeared. It was a strange and scary feeling. The “I” was not accessible anymore. It took time to reconnect with it. I later understood that that was the whole purpose of the work.

It is a special experience because, for all intents and purposes, it looks like I am in the spotlight. I would add that some people resented my being there on the podium as I am not Spanish and they felt that they would translate better than me. They are entirely right.

But Adnan doesn’t want perfection next to him. He is not interested in perfection. So I have to deal with that resentment which is sometimes quite clearly expressed by a certain impatience for the exact word. This is good because it reminds me of my imperfection, makes me accept it in public and be totally fine with my limitations. Perfection is not my aim but concentration is. Adnan taught me to be operational in a split second. That mythical ‘Time to wake up’ repeated 3 times has never been for me.

But really, I am not in the spotlight. Just the opposite, in fact. I must disappear and try to be his voice, try to pitch my voice so as not to be louder than him. The sound level is essential for Adnan. He takes great care in lowering the music to a nearly inaudible volume depending on where he wants us to be in our hearts. 

So I exist but I don’t exist. To be or not to be became to be and not to be.

I have to work on my ego throughout the workshop and this is why I am so grateful to Adnan for the training he has kindly invited me to undergo all those years. He made me reflect on the Sufi saying “I am in this world but I am not of this world." 

When you do the Sufi work, focus on the rhythm of your breath. Everything else engages the breath. The breath is the thing, not the stretch, not the dance, not the words. It is the breath. Feel it every time you move, every time you utter a word, even when you do nothing.

Join me for another Sufi meditation session tomorrow, Friday, February 9 at 9 am PST and Sunday, February 11 at 8 am PST. 

The Zoom link is:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89999494833?pwd=V2pOS28yYUdXM3hkaW1rVWIvSjBUdz09

Meeting ID: 899 9949 4833

Passcode: SUFI

Here's a time converter link to check the time in your location.

Be peaceful.

Michelle

Dr. Michelle Peticolas

Life Transformation Coach

Empowering Women to Reinvent Their Life After Loss

Secrets of Life and Death

https://www.facebook.com/secretsoflifeanddeath.com