Hi there,

It is like returning from another world. La Pine, Oregon, was so quiet, peaceful, and meditative. We slept late because it was dark until almost 8 a.m. There were no BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) trains to wake me at 5 a.m. or any other time. The temperature was cold in the morning, sometimes 20° F.  Then it would rise 50° in a few hours. 

Outside, George set up a water drip for the birds. They came in droves to bathe and drink. Nuthatches, Flickers, Gray Jays, Chickadees, Finches, Hairy Woodpeckers, a Varied Thrush, and a flock of Evening Grosbeaks. They were magical and mesmerizing. 

Time slowed down. No phones rang. Emails stacked up. I walked on forest trails and read books in a canvas chaise lounge on the back deck. 

One of those books was the one I mentioned last week, “A Gradual Awakening,” by Steven Levine.  In my email, I spoke of the differences between the Sufi Work and Buddhist mindfulness practice. This week, these two practices seem one, and the differences merely a trick of the mind. Both lead to spirit. 

Adnan often identified the differences between his work and other spiritual practices. You need to do that -- identify what is unique in your work to attract an audience. But as practitioners, we can welcome any discipline that furthers spirit – even birdwatching and exploring thrift shops.

Years ago, when I first met Adnan in Santa Fe, New Mexico, my life made a radical shift. Not only did his work allow me to let go of a ten-year marriage, it sent me on a different journey. I quit my job and went to New York for the Christmas Sufi workshop. I was floundering, and Adnan’s community offered me a haven, a life preserver, a new direction. 

When I returned to Santa Fe, I thought I would get a different job at a mental institution through the help of an associate from my last job. But it took three months to plow through all the red tape about my training and certification, and when they finally offered me the job and handed me keys, I got cold feet. The job was 2 hours away from Santa Fe and would mean leaving my friends. Still reeling from the abandonment of my husband, I couldn’t do that. Yet I was conflicted

I decided to go to a 2-day retreat in Taos. It was being taught by Steven Levine and his wife, Andrea. I knew nothing about their work. I just needed to get away. I even fasted all day before arriving on Friday night. Fasting was a new experience, an idea seeded in my brain from Adnan’s Christmas workshop. I recall little of that 2-day retreat other than the fact that fasting made me cold at night and that I left with the clarity to refuse the job at the mental hospital. Instead, I got a temp job as a bank receptionist and was able to walk away for Summer Camp with Adnan.

Fourteen years later, I did another workshop with Stephen and his wife in San Francisco. This was right after my parents died. His workshop woke me up to the impact of their deaths and inspired me to make a documentary film series on death and transformation. I had no idea what I was doing. I was terrified out of my mind that I would fail or make a fool of myself. It took over ten years to complete 3 films. They won awards and were purchased by universities throughout the US, Canada, and New Zealand. I even received a grant to introduce them to cancer and hospice organizations. I gave talks and workshops which gradually morphed into my career as a grief and loss coach.

Fourteen years later, I am at another turning point, perhaps the last chapter of a rich and event-filled life. 

I lost my way when the world shut down with Covid. No longer speaking in person, I could not attract new clients and my business died.

Over the last two years, I have worked with a website designer to upgrade my old website. I wanted to make my programs and films available to any who might benefit from them. These are my babies and twenty-six years of growth and development! I could not let them disappear. 

Is ego talking or spirit?

Three weeks ago, I signed up with a new business coach. As I recommit to my business, I wonder about Spirit and this worldly re-engagement. Already my emails are bulging with unread offers for this or that service. It is as if a light has gone on in cyberspace announcing my availability. It is a little overwhelming

Once again, I am turning to Stephen Levine for guidance. Can I be in this world but not of it? How can I be of service to others without slipping down the rabbit hole of ego and desire?

In truth, I am not worried. Failure is an ego concept. I am at the start of a new adventure. I trust that the universe and my heart will teach me what I need to learn. 

I am home again and Sufi Class, as usual, is on Sunday, October 20, 8:00 am PDT and Tuesday, October 22 at 10:30 am PDT

The Zoom LINK: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/88050735178?pwd=zkrVoc4Mtg0pSXtAAWmoCrHWQb2qb1.1

Don’t forget to use the password SUFI all in caps if you are asked for the password.

Be brilliant,

Dr. Michelle

Life Transformation Coach

Empowering Women to Reinvent Their Life After Loss

Secrets of Life and Death

https://www.facebook.com/secretsoflifeanddeath.com